Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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