maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
