Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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