at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
