what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
