Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
