I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
