I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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