I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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