then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
