My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
