i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
