Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
