we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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