I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
