Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
