I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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