HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
