im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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