Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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