I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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