I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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