She's JV to your varsity
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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