why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
