i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
