So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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