Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
