what if every blade of grass was a penis?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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