I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
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so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
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You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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