allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's always time for handjobs
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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