She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Drake has all the answers
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
