You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
