I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
