don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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