I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
how does that bad decision feel?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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