After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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