I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
