I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
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I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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