Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
