Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
