The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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