Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
