I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
