yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
