You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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