I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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