A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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