Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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