He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She told me I should be a condom model.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
