I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
