omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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