dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
