Already got asked if we're dating
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
