There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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