I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
whose parrot is this?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
