i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize