i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
