Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm both gender and math confused
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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