yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
