She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
