You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
