i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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