So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
