What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
